Jun 10, 2020
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Christian Dating

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Finding a soulmate can be easier than keeping a relationship healthy. The same is true when we talk about matrimony. In today’s world, we see the devastation of divorce on the lives of couples and especially their children (if they have them). We understand that we all fall short of the glory of God, but families can be destroyed when two people go into a relationship without the knowledge of how to serve and truly love their spouse as Christ loves the Church.

By following these simple pieces of marriage advice, singles can gain an understanding of what awaits them and what should they expect, including the sacrifices they’ll personally have to make to have a successful union.

1- Finances. Both the husband and the wife should know what the financial picture of the union looks like. When two people get married, the status of money changes. When you are a single person you may say this is my money or my debt to pay and I am responsible for this or that. When you’re married this changes to ‘our money and ‘our debts’ as at that moment you are no longer two but one. You are now husband and wife. Matrimony is made up of the Spiritual, the Emotional, and the Physical, in that order.

2- Intimacy in Relationship. I will try to be as polite as I can on this delicate subject. God designed sex to be an expression of physical love between two people married to each other, for life. This activity is a gift from Him and is intended for pleasure and bonding. This privilege should never be used as a weapon against the other, as that goes against Scripture. The wife at the same time should be shown respect as she is not a ‘play-thing’ for the husband to take advantage of. This activity should be available at appropriate times for both the husband and the wife. Be kind and gentle in this area of your relationship.

3- Family life. What are the responsibilities of the husband and the wife? e.g. The wife most times will cater towards the kitchen, what takes place there, and perhaps things like colors for the house, the type of furniture, etc. This is not to say the husband doesn’t do the cooking or house-work, but for most couples it’s the wife. The husband is likely more focused on keeping the car(s) in good condition, fixing things, cutting the lawn, etc. The wife may need a shelf made or a cupboard door fixed or a leaky tap replaced. Again, these roles can be swapped or intermixed with some couples, but for the most part, this is how things are. Make sure you work in harmony is the key here.

4- Extended Family. Your parents may still be here on planet earth and/or you may have a brother or a sister and extended family in your life. You may have good friends and perhaps a few enemies, too. Make each other the primary person in your life and don’t let family or friends get involved in a negative way and pit you against each other.

5- Vocation. What do you do to support the family? Do you work outside the home? You need to step up provide for your family (men especially).

“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale, it’s a choice. Fawn Weaver”

6- Leisure time. Do you have common interests? What do you do as a couple together? E.g. walks together, or watching the sun go down (or come up if you’re both early risers). Maybe a car show at the beach and a nice dinner? Or, taking time to travel together on a trip somewhere. Or, camping as a family. The important thing is sharing time together.

7- Communication. Are you free and able enough in your relationship to talk about any topic (including sex)? Can you fully express your feelings to one another? And, can you do this without fear of ridicule or your opinions being invalidated? Make sure you respect one another’s insights and observations, even if you may not always agree.

8- God. Is He most important in your relationship? If not, He should be. Drawing closer to God will draw you closer to each other. Does your matrimony relationship reflect God’s love to others as they observe how you treat each other? If not, why not, and what can you do together to change that?

9- Prayer life. Do you take time to pray together daily and for each other? Do you read the Bible and do devotions or have a ‘quiet time’ together? We all have worries or concerns, as well as dreams for the future. The importance of prayer cannot be over-emphasized. Couple who pray together regularly have a much better chance of surviving in this hostile world. Did you know that the failure rate of marriages for those who do pray together is only about 1 in a 1,000? So, pray together regularly as a couple!

10- Encouraging one other. Make sure you regularly encourage and build each other up. Be your partner’s biggest fan! When you are interacting with other people, let them know from your words and deeds that your spouse is the best thing that ever happened to you. A lot of us don’t realize how good we really have it in life (especially if you live in the 1st World). So, be grateful. Find three things each day that you’re thankful for and it will improve your outlook. Make sure you are also thankful for your husband or wife and express it to him or her!

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